Polyamory open relationships
There are so many different types of relationships that we have nowadays and everyone's wondering basically the same thing. how do I date multiple partners?
Now someone has been public about the fact I am polyamorous and I've been in relationships with two women at once or even more in my past. I feel that it's something that really needs to be said first of all if you want to date multiple people, there are some ground rules that you have to follow in my opinion.
The first is you get to decide what kind of relationship you're in. if you want to be in an open relationship or in a closed group relationship or you want to swap partners whatever it is you decide don't able to dictate what is or isn't okay. however do make sure that everybody involved agrees with what's going on.
Plyamorous Relationship : How to start one
There are only 3 ways of starting Plyamorous Relationship or poly relationship.
1. Convert Open relationship into Poly Relationship
you're in a relationship that is currently open where you have multiple partners and you want to bring somebody else in or you want to open it up.
2. Start New poly relationship
You are single at this time. you haven't yet got into a relationship and you're looking to get into one that has these rules and this is easier to do but tend to be scarier before we deal with it.
3. Convert Closed Relation into Poly Relationship
You're in a relationship withsomeone and it is closed means just you two are involved with each other.
Now you want to get into poly relationship by bringing someone else in,this is hard to do.
Before we go in detail of this 3 type ,let me explain common terms about poly relationship.
Monogamous vs Polyamorous
however we're gonna deal with the sort of like the elephant in the room that all wants to talk about are human beings monogamous? I'll make it very simple for you and I'll invite you to make the decision if human beings were naturally monogamous wouldn't we naturally just want to stay with one person have you ever been with somebody and thought about somebody else? have you ever been with somebody and then maybe you left them for somebody else? maybe you cheated on them. if that was you I would invite you to ask yourself whether you are monogamous yourself also look at relationships around you.
Do you see people getting divorced? cheating on each other? moving on with other people saying this is my true love, breaking up and then saying this is my true love.
Once you have that discussion with yourself it's a lot easier to work out what kind of relationship you want to develop, what kind of relationship you want to get in.
if you are open to having open relationships or to diving into polyamory or maybe just putting your toe into the water then this blog is gonna help.
what is Polyamorous?
polyamorous meaning I can love more than one person. I often tell people if you have two pets would you be happier. do you just love them both equally? what about if you have two children? most of us are polyamorous. I can love my pet, I can love my child, I can love my other child, I can love my partner and if I want multiple partners, I can love more of them.
That isn't to say that there aren't people in the world that want to be monogamous and if you do want to be monogamous then you should be monogamous and find a partner that wants to be monogamous and have a wonderful monogamous life and I wish that for you because there is nothing wrong with identifying the relationship you want and going for it.
How to start polyamorous Relationship
1. Open relationship into Poly Relationship
you're in a relationship that is currently open where you have multiple partners and you want to bring somebody else in. It seems to be the one that most people want to do.
First thing to do is if you're in a open relationship, it's very simple to just talk to your partner about idea of poly relationship. what you want and how you define poly relationship. it will be easy since you are already with someone who believe in open relationship.
Just say to them that i want to be polyamorous and then you talk about meeting other people and again through communication.
2. Start new Poly Relationship
You are single and if you want polyamory, if you want to be able have multiple partners just start by stating that you are polyamorous and just get into a relationship. you don't have to get into a relationship where it's agreed that you guys are gonna have multiple partners. you just need to get into relationship and explain that you're polyamorous then your partner will say when you start dating what does that mean and you know it means that right now we're dating and I'm polyamorous.
Then they can ask to you ,does this mean you're gonna see other people? and you say at some point I might and you're welcome to as well. in this situation at no point were they confused about what was going on. they saw clearly what happened. they can break up with you at that point and say you know what this isn't why one they can have that conversation with you be open to the conversation with them rather than saying this is the relationship I want just stay this is who I am and then move forward with your relationships as normal.
There's no need to set rules or boundaries on relationship and one of the problems in life is that often people will identify themselves as their relationship rules. In fact it gets so bad that some people only identify themselves in in a connection to their partner. so they might go up to somebody to say oh yeah I'm this person's husband or I'm this person's wife as if you don't have an identity of your own.
3. convert closed relationship into poly relationship
The only time this gets difficult is if two people meet each other under the guise of being monogamous and they set up a monogamous relationship and now they want to open it essentially. They're taking the foundation of everything their relationship was built on and hitting it with a sledgehammer until it is complete gravel and then trying to build something new. it can be done but you have to build it from the foundation of the relationship you have to go back to what the relationship means and start again.
There are many ways of dipping your toe into the water of polyamory from a relationship.The way I would strongly suggest you do it is with your partner's consent and by going through some hypothetical scenarios together when no one does anything.
So for example, maybe late at night talk about it and describe what it would look like and at each point have your partner describe at what point are uncomfortable, maybe they're only comfortable if you're going to coffee with people, so go to coffee with people be willing to have to lose those people and get rid of them and find somebody new.
That's part of it until your partner has found what they are comfort with and what they're not comfortable with. they might want you to have an intimate relationship only with them but you can have a loving caring friend relationship with somebody else they might want you only to have a physically intimate relationship with somebody else but no emotional connection either way discuss it and find out.
Idea here is to breaking down step by step what is okay and isn't okay. it's going to be a lot easier if your partner accept this change in the relationship.
Key to successful Poly relationship
In most relationships communication is
the key to success when you add more people, you need more
communication you absolutely have to have that you need more people
talking because that's what makes this better. so everybody needs to
describe what they need and what they want to be happy. once you've
ascertained what everybody needs then it's simply a goal of working out
how you're gonna get into the relationship in the first place.
final part about multiple relationships remember that you only have seven days in a week and the key to successful multiple relationships is to divide those days up they don't have to be divided equally but you have to stick to the structure so if you give somebody say Monday and Thursday every single week they have Monday and Thursday. if you suddenly claim them back because you want to give them to somebody new that causes problems because once again the foundation is every Monday and Thursday is yours and then when we claw them back, we're pulling away the foundation of the relationship.
so your goal is to maintain consistency because human beings if nothing else love consistency. we want to know the rules, we'll know the boundaries, we want to be able to follow them and stick to them. so if you want to have a successful relationship with multiple people find your rules, find your boundaries and stick to them like glue and as long as you do that and add some great communication, you actually gonna have successful poly relationship.
Read about 4 types of Poly Relationship