13 things you need to understand to go from boy to man.
The way of the superior man Chapter 1
Stop hoping for a completion of anything in life. most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. they think if i can work enough then one day i could rest or one day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining. i'm only doing this now so that one day i can do what i really want with my life. the masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way but they won't. it never ends as long as life continues. the creative challenge is to tussle play and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.
The way of the superior man Chapter 2
Live as if your father were dead. A man must love his father and yet be free of his father's expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.
The way of the superior man Chapter 3
Never change your mind just to please a woman. if a woman suggests something that changes a man's perspective then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective but he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please this woman or go along with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. they will grow to resent each other and the crust of accumulated in-authenticity will burden their love as well as their capacity for free action.
The way of the superior man Chapter 4
Your purpose must come before your relationship. every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. if a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose he weakens himself, deserves the universe and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full undivided presence.
The way of the superior man Chapter 5
lean just beyond your edge. in any given moment a man's growth is optimized if he leans just beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear .he should not be too lazy, happily stagnating in the zone of security and comfort nor should he push far beyond his edge stressing himself unnecessarily. unable to metabolize his experience he should lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort constantly in everything he does.
The way of the superior man Chapter 6
if you don't know your purpose, discover it now. without a conscious life purpose a man is totally lost drifting adapting to events rather than creating events. without knowing his life purpose a man lives a weakened impotent existence perhaps eventually becoming even sexually impotent or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex.
The way of the superior man Chapter 7
Be willing to change everything in your life. a man must be prepared to give 100 % to his purpose, fulfill his karma or dissolve it and then let go of that specific form of living. he must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life entering a period of unwillingness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge. these cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma in his relaxation into truth.
The way of the superior man Chapter 8
don't use your family as an excuse. if a man never discovers his deepest purpose or if he permanently compromises it and uses his family as an excuse. for doing so then his core becomes weakened and he loses depth and presence, his woman loses trust and sexual polarity with him. even though he may be putting much energy into parenting their children and doing the housework a man should of course be a full participant in caring for children in the household but if he gives up his deepest purpose to do so ultimately everyone suffers.
The way of the superior man Chapter 9
don't get lost in tasks and duties. whatever the specifics of a man's purpose he must always refresh the transcendental element of his life through regular meditation and retreat. A man should never get lost in the details of his life and forget that ultimately and in truth life amounts to nothing other than what is the deepest truth of this present moment. Tasks don't get a man anywhere more conscious or free than he is capable of being in this present moment.
The way of the superior man Chapter 10
Don't force the feminine to make decisions. a man abandons responsibility by expecting that his woman will always make her own decisions and then be accountable for the results this expectation is a withholding of his masculine gift. it puts a woman in the position of magnifying her own masculine. it is good for some women to learn to animate their masculine capacity to make a decision and stick with it but if a man abnegates his responsibility to provide his woman with the gift of masculine clarity and decisiveness then she will become chronically sharp angular and distrustful of his love. she will cease surrendering in love with him seize trusting his masculine capacity and instead become her own man.
The way of the superior man Chapter 11
What she wants is not what she says. sometimes a woman will make a request of her man in plain english not to get him to do something but to see if he is so weak that he will do it. in other words she is testing his capacity to do what is right not what she is asking for. in such cases if the man does what his woman asks she will be disappointed and angry the man will have no idea why she is so angry or what could possibly please her. he must remember that her trust is engendered not by him fulfilling her requests but by him magnifying love consciousness and success in their lives in spite of her requests.
The way of the superior man Chapter 12
She doesn't really want to be number one. A woman sometimes seems to want to be the most important thing in her man's life however if she is the most important thing then she feels her man has made her the number one priority and is not fully dedicated or directed to divine growth and service. she will feel her man's dependence on her for his happiness and this will make her feel smothered by his neediness and clinging. A woman really wants her man to be totally dedicated to his highest purpose and also to love her fully although she would never admit it she wants to feel that her man would be willing to sacrifice their relationship for the sake of his highest purpose.
The way of the superior man Chapter 13
She wants to relax in the demonstration of your direction. A woman must be able to trust you to take charge if she relaxes her own masculine edge. this is true financially, sexually, emotionally and spiritually. the man doesn't have to actually do all the work but he must be able to steer the course if his woman is going to relax into her feminine without fear.
my Review and summary of book :13 Things You Need To Understand To Go From Boy to Man – The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida